# Han Zero

To be accompanied with the music video "Han Zero (lofi)"

...

“Han!” she yelled.

“What?” He replied in a tired tone.

“We’re moving.” She said, pointing out the window.

Han sat up rubbing his eyes. He got out of the bed and moved over to where Agatha was standing. Peering out the window he could see the telltale signs of motion as the station they had been docked at slowly became smaller and smaller.

Sure enough, they were on a trajectory, but when had he put in the coordinates? He drifted off into his mind trying to piece together events in the last few hours. As he re-entered that mental space between sleep and wakefulness he remembered that he was startled earlier by that easily forgotten clattering of the Bernoulli Drive.

Snapping to attention he reached down to grab his pants and got up to walk over to the Bernoulli Drive. It was a surprisingly simple machine that liked to play games - always leaving the pilot guessing as to whether it would work or not. They had gotten enough thrust from the previous burn that they were still moving, but without a proper kick their orbit around the station would decay and they would collide back on the Rebel station.

He smacked the drive with his hand and it sputtered and wheezed a breathy mechanical note. They waited. There was nothing, no lights not even a hum or a hiss. It had been doing this more often recently.

“Shit.” He said.

The Bernoulli Drive’s function was always discontinuous, bursting between fantastic possibilities of one moment and eery silence in another.  He much preferred the predictability of the Ensemble drives. While they were impossible to understand - complex beyond interpretability - at least they produced something! Han knew that was a cop-out though. Ensemble drives were prone to overfitting and you could easily run off the Graph if you didn’t have a team of technicians constantly tuning the device and retroactively explaining deviations.

Ensemble drive aside he still would have liked to retool the Bernoulli Drive at the last docking. The unpredictability was really starting to get on his nerves! Unfortunately his handler for this trip, an unpleasant fellow by the name of Darth was eager to get his cargo to the Axis. They would have to put up with the finicky drive and hope the input parameters didn’t drift any further than they already had.

He slapped the drive again, this time with a noise so loud Agatha’s attenuators whizzed to life.

“Easy!” Agatha demanded, putting her hands on her ears with a languishing scoff as she adjusted her settings.

The Bernoulli Drive was silent. He tried to think of nothing. Let the drive give him clues. Dealing with pure randomness was like trying to peer into an additional dimension beyond your senses. He caught the Moment and renormalized. With a pinch he started the drive and it sputtered into life in discrete bursts. Chop! Chop chop! Then, with an instantaneous jolt and a loud Wham! they were actively accelerating. He felt satisfied with himself even though he intimately knew that controlling randomness was a rouse.

“I fucking hate that thing,” Han said, exasperated “it’s never predictable when you need it to be.” He leaned back into his pilot seat giving a cursory glance at the Graph monitor. The trajectory was set, there was no changing that now. All they could do was wait.

He adjusted the seat setting to lift his feet up and relaxed. With the last output from the Bernoulli Drive they had all the momentum they needed to make it to their destination.

“Han?” Agatha said after several minutes.

He snapped back to attention and looked over at her. As he acknowledged her with a dumb smile, he gazed past her trying to remember where he had found her again. Was it on the Edge during one of his cargo missions? Or was it the inner worlds of the Axis on the last delivery? Trips down the Graph always left the short-term memory a little hazy. It didn’t matter any more.

There was one thing that was clear: Agatha was an AI babe he couldn’t live without.